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T O P I C
CRAPCON: IT'S ON!
April 7th 2005, 15:39 CEST by Dumdeedum

Ladies and gentlemen, we sit here tonight, the lights slowly dim, we turn with rapt attention to the screen and the only thing left is introduce our competitors, so lets bring them out!

BobJustBob
Weighing in at 538lbs, this loner from the deep south will use his deadly Nintendo DS and his over-education to make you sorry!
Finishing Move: The Contrary Opinion.

G-Man
He's a lawyer in training from the Big Apple and he's gonna litigious on your ass!  Despite spending most of his time sleeping with many different women, he'll still have time to carefully research his opponents before moving in for the crushing blow!
Finishing Move: The Studied Insult.

Mr & Mrs Ergo
This husband and wife duo will prove an interesting matchup, he's an alcoholic so old his age can only be expressed in scientific notation and she's a member of the secret global conspiracy of dentists.
Finishing Move (him): The Overpriced Drink.
Finishing Move (her): The Drill.


Shadarr & Mystery Female
Canadian.  Unitarian.  Helps out in the community.  Truly these are the signs of a cold-blooded killer ladies and gentlemen.  Cold.  Blooded.  Killer.  She's an enigma, so bets are she's from a mysterious tribe of warriors and she's looking for vengeance!
Finishing Move (him): The Helpful Citizen.
Finishing Move (her): Unknown!


Your Friend
He might look like a pasty, geeky programmer and that's exactly what he is, but don't be fooled, this part-time forum troll has been training for weeks in preparation for this event.  Eye of the tiger!
Finishing Move: The MSDN Lookup.

And there we have it folks, seven competitors enter Vegas and only one may leave.  Let us bow our heads a moment in respect for these brave warriors, and spit on the ground in scorn of those-that-shall-remain-unnamed who dropped out.  And now without further ado, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: CRAPCON: IT'S ON!

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#19 by Penguinx
2005-04-07 18:48:30
This hardly seems patentable.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#20 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:10:21
I think I'm going to patent vaginal penetration as "the inspiration that this may be the direction that people will take to reproduce."

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#21 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:11:18
I'm going to put a patent on ass-to-mouth and charge people eight trillion dollars every time they want to use it in an porn flick.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#22 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:11:56
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
and G-Man crying in the shower while chewing on a washcloth.

OK, I don't know what this means but I've been chuckling about it all day.  Explanation?

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#23 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:16:14
#22 Warren Marshall
and G-Man crying in the shower while chewing on a washcloth.

OK, I don't know what this means but I've been chuckling about it all day.  Explanation?

It's a reference to Arrested Development.  David Cross plays a character who lost his medical license and is trying to become an actor.  His wife steals one of his parts, and he acts like it's not a big deal.  A quick cut later, and he's sobbing uncontrollably in the shower.  He's chewing on a washcloth dampen the noise.

God, that was a funny scene.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#24 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:26:52
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Wasn't that a Crying Game reference?
#25 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:30:05
Wherever it came from, I sense a lot of gay coming off it.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#26 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:30:31
Dunno, never saw it.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#27 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:31:58
Peak 37 is the ants!  OMG SPOILARZ!!one

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#28 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:34:08
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
You only have to have seen Ace Ventura to get a Crying Game reference.
#29 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:35:01
I bet ya Dumbledore could kick Yoda's ass in a streetfight.  Just sayin'.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#30 by gaggle
2005-04-07 19:35:17
#16
Oooh, flash-game.

*10 minutes later*

Man the controls are soo shitty. And the game seems wicked difficult, you're almost bound to suffer when four armed guys pop up all around. Or, and this could be a much more plausible explanation, I'm just not good enough to successfully navigate through the game. Between the frustration of neigh-continous death and just getting the gotdamn arm to point the way I wanted it I give it a solid Fuck That Noise™.


This has been Jon's 10 Second Review, have a nice evening folks.

"You can get her in any color so long as it's double D and naked." - Hugin
#31 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:40:48
Wait a minute, I don't remember writing any review...

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#32 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:43:48
Oh, you're such a lark!

HAR!

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#33 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:44:43
I don't get it.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#34 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:46:22
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
You aren't throwing out random sentences and, thus, aren't cool.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#35 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 19:46:33
Cold Larkin' with Flava!

Comment Signature:
#36 by anaqer
2005-04-07 19:50:25
A review without the Dumdeedum Scale is no review!

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
#37 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:50:32
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
gaggle (#30):
neigh-continous death

That horse is well and truly dead.
#38 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:50:41
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
You're in Vegas.  Get off the computer.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#39 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:53:43
Who's in where?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#40 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 19:54:03

You're in Vegas.  Get off the computer.


If you meant me, I'm not.  I don't arrive until tomorrow.  

But when I do get there you won't see any posts from me at 10 pm saying how I just got in from a night on the town.  Unless there are at least 2 hot women getting in with me. I'll bend the rules in that case.

Comment Signature:
#41 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 20:00:25
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
If you meant me, I'm not.  I don't arrive until tomorrow.  

Son of a...

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#42 by Jibble
2005-04-07 20:00:33
"Excuse me for a moment, ladies.  I need to go make a post on the Internet about this."

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#43 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 20:01:10
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#44 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 20:02:30

"Excuse me for a moment, ladies.  I need to go make a post on the Internet about this."


Fuck yeah.  If I pull two hot babes at the same time, EVERYONE is going to hear about it ASAP.  

Also, my laptop has an integrated webcam.

Comment Signature:
#45 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 20:02:56

They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...


Your words wound me!

Comment Signature:
#46 by ProStyle
2005-04-07 21:06:23
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
Grouphug?

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#47 by E-ph0nk
2005-04-07 21:20:08
http://www.electrophonk.be
gaggle,
But did you see the ninja clothes?  And the pirate outfit?  Did you? And the ninja+pirate outfit.

The controls do suck though.

#48 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:32:06
Taking laptop to Vegas = missing the point fuckin lame.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#49 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:33:15
The point bears repeating.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#50 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 21:34:52
Banning your IP from my webcam...

Comment Signature:
#51 by anaqer
2005-04-07 21:38:26
#49

WTF man, did you not watch Knight Rider?
Computers can change the outcome of dice rolls! From the parking lot!

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
#52 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:39:26
Oh?  Can you ban this?  You'reacock!You'reacock!You'reacock!

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#53 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-07 21:47:17
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
I brought my laptop when I was in Vegas.  I had it because I left straight from work, and I thought it was going to be an annoyance.  While I was there, however, it became useful for checking for tickets, mapping directions and determining what was going on where.  But I didn't sit in front of it all day.  In the morning I would use it to plan my day, and I wouldn't turn it on again until the next day.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#54 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:03:19
YF, do me a favor and see how long it takes for you to get kicked out of a casino if you plop your laptop down on the poker table and start putting in the cards you're getting.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#55 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 22:13:31
No way man, I've heard stories about what they do to people like that in the back room.

Comment Signature:
#56 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:15:57
[blog]

I got a call from a relative's in-law last night about putting together a web site for her.  I was assuming that she wanted a basic site with some decent info.  The minute she started talking I knew we had a problem.

"Well, I want the camera to pan out over the ocean, past a boat...then I want it to go to the beach, where a wave will crash and then the logo will be revealed."

I thought immediately of the horror that Penguin is going through with a web site design right now, and decided this morning that I wasn't going to take on the job.  I don't even have a legit copy of Flash anyway...and at $500 it's just not worth it.  I bet I'm going to get yelled at during the next family function, but it's well worth it not to deal with that hassle.

[/blog]

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#57 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:16:29
#55 Your Friend
No way man, I've heard stories about what they do to people like that in the back room.

By "heard stories", do you mean "seen movies starring Joe Pesci"?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#58 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 22:20:09
Yes.

Comment Signature:
#59 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 22:20:45
By "heard stories", he means: "been there, done that, licked it, made the CMS and banned us all from it."

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#60 by Penguinx
2005-04-07 23:13:03
Jibble, run from it as fast as you can. Don't look back.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#61 by forgone
2005-04-08 00:49:21
forgoc@yahoo.com
This is what the Internet is all about.
#62 by schnee
2005-04-08 01:56:47
david@snowdesign.com
They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...

You just made my day.
#63 by Jibble
2005-04-08 03:00:34
#61 forgone

Wow.  Looking at some of those Dallas reviews, people are scraping the bottom of the barrel for call girls around here.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#64 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-08 03:51:55
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Time to get dolled up in drag, huh Jibble?

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#65 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-08 03:55:54
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
I'm surprized noone has seen that site before.  I mean it's just gone through a major site redesign, and it's a little more difficult to search for your favo...

Perhaps I should stop talking now.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#66 by forgone
2005-04-08 03:57:00
forgoc@yahoo.com
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

I LUV ME SOME GOOD BBBJ DT AKSHUN.
also, there are no hot professionals in dallas because they all travel to vegas!
#67 by gaggle
2005-04-08 09:34:44
Re: #37

Oh. Nigh/neigh.. now I know. Why is it always m0nty that calls me out on my stupid spelling?

"You can get her in any color so long as it's double D and naked." - Hugin
#68 by m0nty
2005-04-08 10:05:35
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Do you know what nemesis means?
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