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T O P I C
CRAPCON: IT'S ON!
April 7th 2005, 15:39 CEST by Dumdeedum

Ladies and gentlemen, we sit here tonight, the lights slowly dim, we turn with rapt attention to the screen and the only thing left is introduce our competitors, so lets bring them out!

BobJustBob
Weighing in at 538lbs, this loner from the deep south will use his deadly Nintendo DS and his over-education to make you sorry!
Finishing Move: The Contrary Opinion.

G-Man
He's a lawyer in training from the Big Apple and he's gonna litigious on your ass!  Despite spending most of his time sleeping with many different women, he'll still have time to carefully research his opponents before moving in for the crushing blow!
Finishing Move: The Studied Insult.

Mr & Mrs Ergo
This husband and wife duo will prove an interesting matchup, he's an alcoholic so old his age can only be expressed in scientific notation and she's a member of the secret global conspiracy of dentists.
Finishing Move (him): The Overpriced Drink.
Finishing Move (her): The Drill.


Shadarr & Mystery Female
Canadian.  Unitarian.  Helps out in the community.  Truly these are the signs of a cold-blooded killer ladies and gentlemen.  Cold.  Blooded.  Killer.  She's an enigma, so bets are she's from a mysterious tribe of warriors and she's looking for vengeance!
Finishing Move (him): The Helpful Citizen.
Finishing Move (her): Unknown!


Your Friend
He might look like a pasty, geeky programmer and that's exactly what he is, but don't be fooled, this part-time forum troll has been training for weeks in preparation for this event.  Eye of the tiger!
Finishing Move: The MSDN Lookup.

And there we have it folks, seven competitors enter Vegas and only one may leave.  Let us bow our heads a moment in respect for these brave warriors, and spit on the ground in scorn of those-that-shall-remain-unnamed who dropped out.  And now without further ado, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: CRAPCON: IT'S ON!

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#4 by CheesyPoof
2005-04-07 16:10:05
Hooray!
#5 by lwf
2005-04-07 16:32:53
What's going on with the writing thing, man.

Give up your pussy again.
#6 by Caryn
2005-04-07 16:38:30
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
#5 lwf
What's going on with the writing thing, man.

I'll try and get around to unlocking the submissions tonight and writing up a thread for the discussion. Been really busy this week.

"Take death for example. A great deal of our effort goes into avoiding it. We make extraordinary efforts to delay it and often consider its intrusion a tragic event. Yet we'd find it hard to live without it. Death gives meaning to our lives. It gives importance and value to time." - Ray Kurzweil
#7 by yotsuya
2005-04-07 16:53:50
I bet Bob feels so safe in G-Man's arms right now.

*tik*
#8 by Jibble
2005-04-07 16:58:48
Oh, please.  You know they're spooning, and Bob's in front.

I can't wait for the stories about who snores loudly and G-Man crying in the shower while chewing on a washcloth.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#9 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 16:58:49
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Do you think they're cuddling or spooning?  Let's start a pool!

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#10 by yotsuya
2005-04-07 17:00:30
Apparently, Bob's got to go to the ATM (OMG! Double meaning???).

Five bucks says that G-Man is the one ripping on Bob.

*tik*
#11 by deadlock
2005-04-07 17:01:25
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Where are you guys reading all of this shit?

Some people are afraid to croak
But Jimmy drank until he choked
And took the road for Heaven in the morning.
#12 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 17:02:03
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
www.planetcrap.com

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#13 by Penguinx
2005-04-07 17:02:19
IRC, maybe?

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#14 by deadlock
2005-04-07 17:02:22
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Right. The Thread?

Some people are afraid to croak
But Jimmy drank until he choked
And took the road for Heaven in the morning.
#15 by deadlock
2005-04-07 17:02:38
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Nah, it's not IRC, I'm lurking in there.

Some people are afraid to croak
But Jimmy drank until he choked
And took the road for Heaven in the morning.
#16 by E-ph0nk
2005-04-07 17:03:58
http://www.electrophonk.be
this is one of the better flashgames I ever came across.  You can customize your character into a... NINJA PIRATE!

double win.

#17 by Marsh Davies
2005-04-07 17:23:56
www.verbalchilli.com
My guess is that G-Man is in a bath full of smashed oranges coaxing Bob to launch a cassette player at him when "White Rabbit" peaks.

#18 by yotsuya
2005-04-07 17:28:57
HAHAHHAHAHAHA.

*tik*
#19 by Penguinx
2005-04-07 18:48:30
This hardly seems patentable.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#20 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:10:21
I think I'm going to patent vaginal penetration as "the inspiration that this may be the direction that people will take to reproduce."

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#21 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:11:18
I'm going to put a patent on ass-to-mouth and charge people eight trillion dollars every time they want to use it in an porn flick.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#22 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:11:56
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
and G-Man crying in the shower while chewing on a washcloth.

OK, I don't know what this means but I've been chuckling about it all day.  Explanation?

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#23 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:16:14
#22 Warren Marshall
and G-Man crying in the shower while chewing on a washcloth.

OK, I don't know what this means but I've been chuckling about it all day.  Explanation?

It's a reference to Arrested Development.  David Cross plays a character who lost his medical license and is trying to become an actor.  His wife steals one of his parts, and he acts like it's not a big deal.  A quick cut later, and he's sobbing uncontrollably in the shower.  He's chewing on a washcloth dampen the noise.

God, that was a funny scene.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#24 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:26:52
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Wasn't that a Crying Game reference?
#25 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:30:05
Wherever it came from, I sense a lot of gay coming off it.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#26 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:30:31
Dunno, never saw it.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#27 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:31:58
Peak 37 is the ants!  OMG SPOILARZ!!one

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#28 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:34:08
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
You only have to have seen Ace Ventura to get a Crying Game reference.
#29 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:35:01
I bet ya Dumbledore could kick Yoda's ass in a streetfight.  Just sayin'.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#30 by gaggle
2005-04-07 19:35:17
#16
Oooh, flash-game.

*10 minutes later*

Man the controls are soo shitty. And the game seems wicked difficult, you're almost bound to suffer when four armed guys pop up all around. Or, and this could be a much more plausible explanation, I'm just not good enough to successfully navigate through the game. Between the frustration of neigh-continous death and just getting the gotdamn arm to point the way I wanted it I give it a solid Fuck That Noise™.


This has been Jon's 10 Second Review, have a nice evening folks.

"You can get her in any color so long as it's double D and naked." - Hugin
#31 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:40:48
Wait a minute, I don't remember writing any review...

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#32 by UncleJeet
2005-04-07 19:43:48
Oh, you're such a lark!

HAR!

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#33 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:44:43
I don't get it.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#34 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:46:22
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
You aren't throwing out random sentences and, thus, aren't cool.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#35 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 19:46:33
Cold Larkin' with Flava!

Comment Signature:
#36 by anaqer
2005-04-07 19:50:25
A review without the Dumdeedum Scale is no review!

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
#37 by m0nty
2005-04-07 19:50:32
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
gaggle (#30):
neigh-continous death

That horse is well and truly dead.
#38 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 19:50:41
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
You're in Vegas.  Get off the computer.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#39 by Jibble
2005-04-07 19:53:43
Who's in where?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#40 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 19:54:03

You're in Vegas.  Get off the computer.


If you meant me, I'm not.  I don't arrive until tomorrow.  

But when I do get there you won't see any posts from me at 10 pm saying how I just got in from a night on the town.  Unless there are at least 2 hot women getting in with me. I'll bend the rules in that case.

Comment Signature:
#41 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 20:00:25
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
If you meant me, I'm not.  I don't arrive until tomorrow.  

Son of a...

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#42 by Jibble
2005-04-07 20:00:33
"Excuse me for a moment, ladies.  I need to go make a post on the Internet about this."

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#43 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-07 20:01:10
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#44 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 20:02:30

"Excuse me for a moment, ladies.  I need to go make a post on the Internet about this."


Fuck yeah.  If I pull two hot babes at the same time, EVERYONE is going to hear about it ASAP.  

Also, my laptop has an integrated webcam.

Comment Signature:
#45 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 20:02:56

They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...


Your words wound me!

Comment Signature:
#46 by ProStyle
2005-04-07 21:06:23
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
Grouphug?

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#47 by E-ph0nk
2005-04-07 21:20:08
http://www.electrophonk.be
gaggle,
But did you see the ninja clothes?  And the pirate outfit?  Did you? And the ninja+pirate outfit.

The controls do suck though.

#48 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:32:06
Taking laptop to Vegas = missing the point fuckin lame.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#49 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:33:15
The point bears repeating.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#50 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 21:34:52
Banning your IP from my webcam...

Comment Signature:
#51 by anaqer
2005-04-07 21:38:26
#49

WTF man, did you not watch Knight Rider?
Computers can change the outcome of dice rolls! From the parking lot!

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
#52 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:39:26
Oh?  Can you ban this?  You'reacock!You'reacock!You'reacock!

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#53 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-07 21:47:17
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
I brought my laptop when I was in Vegas.  I had it because I left straight from work, and I thought it was going to be an annoyance.  While I was there, however, it became useful for checking for tickets, mapping directions and determining what was going on where.  But I didn't sit in front of it all day.  In the morning I would use it to plan my day, and I wouldn't turn it on again until the next day.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
C O M M E N T S
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