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T O P I C
CRAPCON: IT'S ON!
April 7th 2005, 15:39 CEST by Dumdeedum

Ladies and gentlemen, we sit here tonight, the lights slowly dim, we turn with rapt attention to the screen and the only thing left is introduce our competitors, so lets bring them out!

BobJustBob
Weighing in at 538lbs, this loner from the deep south will use his deadly Nintendo DS and his over-education to make you sorry!
Finishing Move: The Contrary Opinion.

G-Man
He's a lawyer in training from the Big Apple and he's gonna litigious on your ass!  Despite spending most of his time sleeping with many different women, he'll still have time to carefully research his opponents before moving in for the crushing blow!
Finishing Move: The Studied Insult.

Mr & Mrs Ergo
This husband and wife duo will prove an interesting matchup, he's an alcoholic so old his age can only be expressed in scientific notation and she's a member of the secret global conspiracy of dentists.
Finishing Move (him): The Overpriced Drink.
Finishing Move (her): The Drill.


Shadarr & Mystery Female
Canadian.  Unitarian.  Helps out in the community.  Truly these are the signs of a cold-blooded killer ladies and gentlemen.  Cold.  Blooded.  Killer.  She's an enigma, so bets are she's from a mysterious tribe of warriors and she's looking for vengeance!
Finishing Move (him): The Helpful Citizen.
Finishing Move (her): Unknown!


Your Friend
He might look like a pasty, geeky programmer and that's exactly what he is, but don't be fooled, this part-time forum troll has been training for weeks in preparation for this event.  Eye of the tiger!
Finishing Move: The MSDN Lookup.

And there we have it folks, seven competitors enter Vegas and only one may leave.  Let us bow our heads a moment in respect for these brave warriors, and spit on the ground in scorn of those-that-shall-remain-unnamed who dropped out.  And now without further ado, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
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Home » Topic: CRAPCON: IT'S ON!

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#45 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 20:02:56

They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...


Your words wound me!

Comment Signature:
#46 by ProStyle
2005-04-07 21:06:23
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
Grouphug?

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#47 by E-ph0nk
2005-04-07 21:20:08
http://www.electrophonk.be
gaggle,
But did you see the ninja clothes?  And the pirate outfit?  Did you? And the ninja+pirate outfit.

The controls do suck though.

#48 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:32:06
Taking laptop to Vegas = missing the point fuckin lame.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#49 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:33:15
The point bears repeating.

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#50 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 21:34:52
Banning your IP from my webcam...

Comment Signature:
#51 by anaqer
2005-04-07 21:38:26
#49

WTF man, did you not watch Knight Rider?
Computers can change the outcome of dice rolls! From the parking lot!

I HATE SAUERKRAUT!
#52 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 21:39:26
Oh?  Can you ban this?  You'reacock!You'reacock!You'reacock!

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#53 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-07 21:47:17
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
I brought my laptop when I was in Vegas.  I had it because I left straight from work, and I thought it was going to be an annoyance.  While I was there, however, it became useful for checking for tickets, mapping directions and determining what was going on where.  But I didn't sit in front of it all day.  In the morning I would use it to plan my day, and I wouldn't turn it on again until the next day.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#54 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:03:19
YF, do me a favor and see how long it takes for you to get kicked out of a casino if you plop your laptop down on the poker table and start putting in the cards you're getting.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#55 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 22:13:31
No way man, I've heard stories about what they do to people like that in the back room.

Comment Signature:
#56 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:15:57
[blog]

I got a call from a relative's in-law last night about putting together a web site for her.  I was assuming that she wanted a basic site with some decent info.  The minute she started talking I knew we had a problem.

"Well, I want the camera to pan out over the ocean, past a boat...then I want it to go to the beach, where a wave will crash and then the logo will be revealed."

I thought immediately of the horror that Penguin is going through with a web site design right now, and decided this morning that I wasn't going to take on the job.  I don't even have a legit copy of Flash anyway...and at $500 it's just not worth it.  I bet I'm going to get yelled at during the next family function, but it's well worth it not to deal with that hassle.

[/blog]

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#57 by Jibble
2005-04-07 22:16:29
#55 Your Friend
No way man, I've heard stories about what they do to people like that in the back room.

By "heard stories", do you mean "seen movies starring Joe Pesci"?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#58 by Your Friend
2005-04-07 22:20:09
Yes.

Comment Signature:
#59 by Phayyde
2005-04-07 22:20:45
By "heard stories", he means: "been there, done that, licked it, made the CMS and banned us all from it."

Beat to fit, paint to match.
#60 by Penguinx
2005-04-07 23:13:03
Jibble, run from it as fast as you can. Don't look back.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#61 by forgone
2005-04-08 00:49:21
forgoc@yahoo.com
This is what the Internet is all about.
#62 by schnee
2005-04-08 01:56:47
david@snowdesign.com
They'll wait.  Time is money, after all...

You just made my day.
#63 by Jibble
2005-04-08 03:00:34
#61 forgone

Wow.  Looking at some of those Dallas reviews, people are scraping the bottom of the barrel for call girls around here.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#64 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-08 03:51:55
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Time to get dolled up in drag, huh Jibble?

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#65 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-08 03:55:54
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
I'm surprized noone has seen that site before.  I mean it's just gone through a major site redesign, and it's a little more difficult to search for your favo...

Perhaps I should stop talking now.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#66 by forgone
2005-04-08 03:57:00
forgoc@yahoo.com
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

I LUV ME SOME GOOD BBBJ DT AKSHUN.
also, there are no hot professionals in dallas because they all travel to vegas!
#67 by gaggle
2005-04-08 09:34:44
Re: #37

Oh. Nigh/neigh.. now I know. Why is it always m0nty that calls me out on my stupid spelling?

"You can get her in any color so long as it's double D and naked." - Hugin
#68 by m0nty
2005-04-08 10:05:35
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Do you know what nemesis means?
#69 by Matt Perkins
2005-04-08 16:43:31
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
That site is very odd...  Never seen it before, but now I want to be a member so I can read reviews from the people complaining about the girls that don't put out.  Just the bits they posted for non members are the funny.

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." - Albert Einstein.
#70 by lwf
2005-04-08 16:46:18
Almost all the reviews are positive. These guys can't stop sucking up and kissing ass even when they're paying for sex.

Give up your pussy again.
#71 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-08 17:00:54
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
How would a girl not be putting out?  Isn't that the entire point of the site?

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#72 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-08 17:03:26
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
There are scam and rip off artists who promise, take money and do not deliver.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#73 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 17:03:26
...and of women in general?

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#74 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 17:03:36
Dammit, funk!

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#75 by lwf
2005-04-08 17:03:57
Of life no less.

Give up your pussy again.
#76 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:05:37
All the ones I read were "Dressed conservatively, showed up on time."

Just once, I want to read the one from the guy who asks the hooker to show up looking like a crack whore.

"She showed up drunk in the hotel lobby and yelled at the doorman for twenty minutes before calling me on my cell.  I had to help her into the elevator.  She spent most of the session passed out on the floor, so I did my thing and dragged her down to the lobby.  The torn fishnet stockings were a nice touch!  A+++!"

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#77 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:06:15
#72 Funkdrunk
There are scam and rip off artists who promise, take money and do not deliver.

Funk.

Why would someone pay up front?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#78 by Funkdrunk
2005-04-08 17:11:49
jflavius@bellatlantic.net
From all of the HBO specials, they want the loot before anything happens.  So they could collect the money and run out before delivering service.

Funk.

I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
#79 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:13:19
Makes sense, really.  Who are you going to complain to?

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#80 by eggbert
2005-04-08 17:18:11
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Makes sense, really.  Who are you going to complain to?

...The police? I would think that would be common. A dissatisfied john getting revenge, it's pretty damn good leverage.
#81 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:21:06
Er...considering that prostitution is illegal in most states...

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#82 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:21:50
See, now I have the urge to write a letter to the Better Business Bureau about my unfortunate exprience with Judy Juggs.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#83 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-08 17:29:09
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Hahaha, no kidding.  "Yes, hello, officer?  I was trying to get a blowjob from a Miss ... I have it here ... 'Judy Juggs', but she took my cash, punched me in the balls and took off running.  Now, I don't want to have to tell my friends at home about the terrible work ethic of the whores in this town, but..."

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#84 by eggbert
2005-04-08 17:42:49
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Er...considering that prostitution is illegal in most states...

Oh really, well I guess calling the police about an illegal act won't work then.

I don't get what you're saying. They would be incriminating themselves? If they're an idiot, yes, but no one's forcing you to give your name and address on an anonymous tip, it's sort of in the definition. Friends or neighbors who are trying to 'help' that sinner by turning them in aren't going to get questioned too hard for it. Regardless of the fact both are guilty, in most cases it would be the word of the respectable business man versus a hooker, now who has the advantage there, and who's going to get the shorter prison sentence?
#85 by Jibble
2005-04-08 17:44:32
Sounds like someone's speaking from experience.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#86 by Hugin
2005-04-08 17:49:37
lmccain@nber.org
I'm sure the police will exert themselves to the utmost to track down random prostitutes who are cheating anonymous Johns. Because protecting criminals from the fraud of other criminals is a top priority, yesiree.
#87 by schnee
2005-04-08 17:59:45
david@snowdesign.com
See, eggbert, Hugin understands.
#88 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 18:00:21
Because protecting criminals from the fraud of other criminals is a top priority, yesiree.

Isn't that what the Congress does?

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#89 by yotsuya
2005-04-08 18:15:15
Anyone notice we haven't had a Vegas update in awhile? You think Bob killed G-Man, or vice versa?

*tik*
#90 by eggbert
2005-04-08 18:16:31
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Sounds like someone's speaking from experience.


I'm sure the police will exert themselves to the utmost to track down random prostitutes who are cheating anonymous Johns.

Actually I am speaking from experience. I dated a girl on the (non-Miami) Vice Squad for a while. Hugin unintentionally summed up it up, she did exert herself to track down random prostitutes who are cheating anonymous Johns, it was her one and only job. Whether they got cheated or not didn't really matter, if it was reported, it was looked in to. I suppose the reality of it doesn't set up the jokes as well as the 'three seconds of thought' view though, so don't mind me.
#91 by Hugin
2005-04-08 18:19:02
lmccain@nber.org
Fascinating.  Eggbert, I'm the son of a cop, that wasn't three seconds of thought, that was my experience of police priorities growing up.  Apparently things are different in Miami.  Or maybe cops care about that sort of thing now, I don't know.
#92 by Chunkstyle
2005-04-08 18:19:47
I would hope the Crapconners would be having fun instead of updating.  Even Bob.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#93 by eggbert
2005-04-08 18:33:39
http://www.stuffresearch.com
Fascinating.  Eggbert, I'm the son of a cop, that wasn't three seconds of thought, that was my experience of police priorities growing up.  Apparently things are different in Miami.  Or maybe cops care about that sort of thing now, I don't know.

Wel, not in Miami, I was just making a stupid semi-joke about the TV show. I'm not saying all cops care about it more then say, homicide (or...regicide), or what ever their department is, but they do have special squads set up just for gambling and prostitution, the Vice squad. If you're a member of that, then yes, you care about it a lot, unless you hate your job. They don't send out an APB or anything for every case, but if you get reported to the police your chances of getting involved in a sting go up really high. That's a risk that I'm sure most hookers wouldn't want to take, but who knows.
#94 by TheTrunkDr.
2005-04-08 18:40:06
The difference being prostitution is legal where you are, someone who's suppose to deliver a pizza but just takes the money and runs would get looked into here. One person calling into to report the crime they attempted and the crimminal that screwed them (figuratively of course) wouldn't get much sympathy.
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